Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Goooooo Cheer! #1 {insert high kick}

Last week, my daughter nearly OMG'd herself to death when her school sent home a youth cheer leading flyer.
Flash forward to today and The 5 Things I learned in the First 5 Minutes of Practice.


#1 Never Be The First Mom to Show Up. If you do, you'll be bestowed the honor of "helper mom" who has to sit behind the table and register the kids. Everyone will automatically assume you know what you're doing (because of the damn table in front of you) and you won't be able to sit and play TwoDots during practice, since you'll be busy getting an earful from some lady who's debating about buying her daughter the poms.

#2 They're Called Poms. Not pom-poms, and you bes' recognize.

#3 All Life Is Poms. You need those poms. Cheerleaders cannot cheer without the appropriate tools, just as a doctor cannot hear a heart beat without his stethoscope. Shame on you for not coming to the first practice without an extra wad of cash, because...

#4 Poms cost $20???!  Like I said, your cheerleader needs the proper accouterments to cheer efficiently and balled up Christmas tree tinsel is one of them. No, you may not ball up some leftover Christmas tree tinsel, tape it to a Sharpie cap and have your kid bring their own pombz to practice. Suck it up, the poms are the cheapest part of the whole shebang anyways.

#5 Evry'thing is Spoken in This Rhi-iith-mm for the Enti-err Thing!!!!!!! Gooooooooooooo Champz! 

If your kid is a cheer kid, more power to him or her. In all honesty, I'm just happy my kid was off of her MineCraft server for 55 minutes. Plus, this is one more experience she can either treasure forever or "resent me for making her do" in the future.

{insert high kick}

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