Friday, April 11, 2014

The Important Thing to Remember When Choosing a Vacuum Together.


I was at Target the other day, and I overheard a couple arguing over which brand of vacuum to purchase. She wanted a Dyson (the one that Zoe Deschanel allegedly uses for her dog) and He wanted..... not what she wanted. I don't own a Dyson, so I don't know if it is all that, but the point is: She wanted a specific model of cleaning tool to clean up after He.
Yeah, yeah, guy, I know you vacuum occasionally, but the heart of the matter is that your significant other is already a bit miffed that she has to clean up your stuff in the first place, so let her use whatever brand she wants to use. Even if she only wants the damn thing because New Girl has one. Just get it for her. Your opinion doesn't matter, the price doesn't matter, Consumer Magazine's rating doesn't matter when it comes to choosing her vacuum*. If you push your spouse into unwanted vacuumdom, she will resent you e v e r y  s i n g l e  t i m e she cleans and plots her revenge.
Get it? You're welcome, I just saved your marriage.

*Vacuum is interchangeable with stand mixer, Magic Eraser, mayonnaise brand and fabric softener.

8 comments:

  1. Ok... I just wrote a comment, and I think it got deleted. So here I go again...

    I just wanted to say that I don't get why it's always assumed that the woman has to do every chore in the house. My man is the one that mainly uses the vacuum, the stand mixer and the mayonnaise. Why do we women insist on saying "No no honey, I'll be the one using those" instead of making sure they do their part of the chores? I can't do every daily chore. That's a fact. He has to help me. There's no going around this. So, instead, I would let him choose the vacuum and let him use the vacuum when it's needed! Especially if it doesn't work as well as the one I would've chosen! Please stop assuming that women have to do every daily chore. Thank you! :)

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  2. Yes, every marriage is different and more power to you for breaking the female stereotype! Didn't mean to offend, this is a silly post in the first place, friend!

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    1. Thanks for your reply! Of course, my reaction is amplified by other factors... There are so many women that take the responsibility of all the daily chores in the house, and then complain that the man doesn't do anything to help them... My reaction is disproportionate because of that and because of the fact that my initial comment disappeared into thin air! I apologize for that... Thanks for your answer! :)

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    2. I wrote this reply this morning, and just realized that it's not clear... What I meant to write was: I apologize for my comment on assuming that the woman has to do every chore in the house. You're right, it is a funny post, and I would add that's it's not the right place to complain... Sorry about that!

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    3. Bah, no apologies! We're just jealous YOUR spouse does some frickin' cleaning around your house!
      Thanks for reading!

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  3. oh good lord. shit got a little too real for people i guess, ha!
    pretty sure unwanted vacuumdom is the highest cause of divorce today. that`s just science.


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    1. My husband makes me use a 20 year old vacuum. Little does he know I just vacuum up crazy ass shit, hoping to break it. See? Revenge.

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  4. I love my Dyson, I saved the money for that vacuum, I'm am single and that vacuum will come with me into my marriage, they man will have no say...unless he wants to buy me a better Dyson

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