Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Guess Who? Your Worst Nightmare.

My words cannot express the experience I had refereeing tonight's game of Guess Who?
First of all, I was unaware there needed to be a referee.
In order to provide you all with an accurate idea of what I went through, I have transcribed tonight's events.

7:23 PM, Living Room
Jeffrey: Hon, I don't know how to play Guess Who?, can you explain the rules to the girls?
Me: You just pick your character and the other person guesses. Seriously? You've never played? It's like, the easiest game ever. I. Cant. Believe. You've. Never. Played.
Vinnie: I'm picking the cat.
Me: No, wait. You're not supposed to tell us what character you picked.
Vinnie: Can I pick two characters?
Me: Okay, hold up. Wait-WAIT. Open all your doors first. Then pick your character, JUST ONE. But keep it a secret. Line the little marker up with your character so you don't forget who you picked. Alright? Now, youngest goes first. Vinnie, you ask Averie a question about who you think she chose.
Vinnie: Did you pick an animal with three pieces of hair sticking up like this? (makes a weird face and puts the number 3 sign behind her head)
Me: What? No, you ask a vague question. Like, is yours a cat? Is yours brown? Does yours have blue eyes? Something easy like that. Try again, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Is yours fluffy?
Averie: Like, the one that's named Fluffy or is mine fluffy?
Vinnie: Fluffy like is yours fluffy.
Averie: No.
Vinnie: {blankly stares at me for help}
Me: Okay, so now you need to close all the doors of the fluffy animals. Averie, it's your turn now.
Averie: Is yours yellow with a blue bow?
Me: {hand to forehead}
Vinnie: No. {proceeds to close all of her doors that show non-yellow animals without blue bows}
Me: Vinnie, why are you closing your doors? Averie is supposed to close hers.
Vinnie: But, she asked me if mine was yellow with a blue bow. IT'S NOT SO I'M CLOSING MY DOORS.
Me: No...no. When Averie asks, she closes her doors. When you ask, you close yours.
Vinnie: Wait, I close all the doors of the yellow ones?
Me: No, you don't close any doors.
Averie: Well, what do I do?
Me: Close the doors of the ones that are yellow with blue bows.
Averie: There was only one character like that.
Me: Surprise, surprise.

The game pretty much progressed like this, so I'll spare you the teeth clenching details and skip to the end

Averie: No, it's Emily.
Vinnie: But, I didn't have that door open.
Me: Well, you somehow made a mistake along the line, there.
Averie: Vinnie, was yours Beth?
Vinnie: No, it was the horse.
Averie: VINNIE! I asked you if you had the horse, Jane. I said, Do you have the horse named Jane? .................Oh, wait the horse is named, Jasmine. 

Vinnie/Averie in unison: Mom, who won?