Saturday, January 4, 2014

Sincerely, The 4 Year Old

Dear Mom,
You know how it is a new year and you took 45 minutes to explain the concept of resolutions and potentiality to me? Well, you forgot one thing: I am 4 years old.
The fact that you think I can goal set for anything more than not skid marking my undies today not only makes me raise an eyebrow concerning your capacity to measure other's cognitive abilities, but also leads me to deeply question your own ambitions.
Clearly, you need to be "taken down a peg or two".  

Let's talk turkey. In the past, I may have demonstrated behaviors that led you to believe I am capable of conducting myself in an orderly fashion, and in control of my feelings and appendages. Unfortunately, I led you on. I am still a toddler.
To rectify the situation, I have resolved to "dumb it down" and return to my rug rat roots. Give me chocolate milk because I want it, I want it, I want it.

Sincerely hating everything you pick out, cook or want
for me that isn't what I chose in the first place,

Vinnie isn't the boss of me and her butt stinks.


  1. New Year's resolution #2. Lower the bar, so everyone can just climb over it.