Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The First, Last and Only time I Baked with Artificial Sweetener

The other night, the kids decided to form an angry mob and demand that I bake them pumpkin pie.
Shockingly, I obliged.
Plus, I have a horde of pie pumpkins that need to be cooked and I was feeling Martha or some junk.
In a last minute, ditch effort to "healthy it up," I substituted flax meal for white flour, coconut oil for butter and Splenda for white sugar. I know that artificial sweetener isn't that great for you, but I also have a horde of Splenda (inherited from my Grandma Bev) that needs to be used.
I chose to go with a Pinteresty impulse and used a cupcake pan and liners to make little pies. I thought, "These can go in the kids lunches and all the other children will be jealous, tell THEIR mommies and then I will be regarded as That Mini Pumpkin Pie Mom."

The mini pies baked perfectly, tasted delicious AND GAVE US ALL EXPLOSIVE DIAHRREA.
Yes. The uncontrollable kind that you really don't want.
However, in the calm before the (shit) storm I photographed my poisonous pies I was so proud of.
So there.
Also known as Tres Laxative pie.

This is my life and how it goes. (and went)


  1. Bahahahaha! Funniest thing I've read in a long time. OMG they sound so great. I hope you don't mind if I don't try out this one.

  2. Splenda is an interesting thing to inherit. :)

  3. I feel so badly for laughing out loud at this.

  4. You need some Wholesome Sweeteners Turbinado Sugar and none of that fake junk!

  5. OMG, that was just what I needed to read this morning (no seriously!); I'll be laughing & smiling all day--with you not at you. Maybe you could pass them along to someone you seriously don't like.....OK, just an idea.....