Friday, November 15, 2013

Sorry I'm Such an Ass-Hat

**Disclaimer, this post has swearsy language.

In two hours I am supposed to be at a cosmetics event.
This is something I would absolutely love to be at; free makeup, drinks and fancy finger foods.
I'm all dressed up in my grandma's vintage black poofy Barbie dress, my hair looks great and I have every reason to ditch my family, get in the car and drive to my party.
But there's something in my heart that is telling me to skip it and be with my husband tonight.
Things aren't always hunky-dory in marriage, every couple knows that. There's a balance that is really hard to keep up. My take vs. his give. My wants vs. his needs. I have a husband who will never tell me to not go do something, never not support me, never tell me I'm being selfish- so my side of the scale is always lighter than his, and unless I look beyond myself, I don't notice how completely ass-hatty I'm being. And right now, his side of the scale is really, really heavy. He works incredibly f*cking (sorry it's the truth) hard just to keep us barely afloat, and he NEVER complains about it.
Everyday, it baffles me to see him come home, completely exhausted, splintered and sore, yet somehow cheerful to enter a cramped apartment full of screaming kids. The same apartment I can't wait to leave.  
Today, I literally texted my friend "I hate my life right now" while running an errand for my husband. Running ONE errand that was on the way to the Kohl's I was already planning on shopping at. I had no kids with me, no real time sensitive thing I had to do...I just sucked at that moment.
And I feel it right now. I feel how much it sucked to send such a negative POS text to a friend, who probably felt a little less awesome after reading it.
So, friend, I am sorry for being a shitty victim earlier. I totally went to Kohl's and got you something.
And husband, I am sorry for being a shitty victim and making you out to be anything less than a really hard-working and awesome guy.
And cosmetics event, I am not sorry for skipping you. I got some shit to make up for.

10 comments:

  1. Beautiful. No, seriously. If more people were willing to own up to their faults this world would be a much better place. Bravo to you for doing what is RIGHT even when it is hard.

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    1. It WAS hard. I saw some pictures of the free makeup they were giving out! lol.
      I love your profile picture, btw.

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  2. Why don't I get texts and then presents? WHY DUDE?

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks, dude. I felt like a terrible poop head and immediately cleared my psyche after writing this post.

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  4. You are a strong woman just for that!
    Hahaha, I thought the same thing as La Yen. WHERE`S MY TEXT AND PRESENTS? ;D

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    1. If I had your numba I'd be all up in your textness. And you'd get lots of guilt gifts (the best kind!)

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