Sunday, September 23, 2012

Last week our computer crashed so I have been lagging on the blog. I'm sure you have  all been devastated.
Anyhoo, I've had to do all my business (because there's so much of it) on my dumphone or my mom's iPad. The pad is neato, but as a friend put it, there is a "learning curve" and everything takes me a million years to do. That's a #whitegirlproblem if I've ever heard one.
Well, we got a new lappy and now I can type with all my fingers again! So, I'll use them and tell you a story.
Once upon a time,
there was a beautiful queen of everything who was turned into a crazy pants housewife by four rowdy little hyenas and their leader, who thought he was a king of something, but was really more of a big, sleepy hyena. They all lived together in a hot, two story shoe box with peeling paint.
One day, crazy pants housewife decided to take the clan to church and NOT sit in the  little hyena's cry room that smelled like Cherios and ACTUAL hyena urine.
C.P.H.W. wanted to go to church so badly, because she couldn't remember what it was like to see other queens of everything,  and also couldn't remember what she looked like in a skirt...Or with makeup on. Really, she didn't want her randomly shaven legs to go to waste. It was a miracle that she remembered to shave them, anyhow.
When they got to church, the rowdy little hyenas behaved like something worse than hyenas (Tasmanian devils?) and their leader "rested his eyes", while sad, ol' crazy slumped in the pew and covered her face in embarrassment. Mortified, she and her hyena circus left church before the homily and received a standing ovation from the parishioners.
The crazy pants house wife resolved to  turn the hyenas into burritos so she could escape to the kingdom of Target, break the spell and once again become the queen of everything...for a little while, at least.
Oh, and the leader of the hyenas resolved to continue "resting his eyes".
The end.

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