Wednesday, August 8, 2012

On being a step mom

Doing the awkward waiting at the door thing...

Being a step mom is kind of emotional, folks! I didn't prepare myself to be so attached to Jeffrey's kids and to feel so strongly for them as if they were my own. Yes, I have known them for years and cared about them, but this runs deep now. I am having a hard time coping with the fact that they are ultimately not my kids, and that I have to share. I want them to be with me all the time, so when they go back to their mother's house I tend to get my feelings hurt. I also tend to let dumb stuff get to me and then say dumb stuff to my husband, which really doesn't help the situation.
Hey, at least I got a kiss at 7 am!
For example,
I picked them up from their mom's house yesterday morning and was upset that they weren't all jumping with joy to come over. Granted, it was 7 am and they had literally just woken up, but still...I kind of took it a little too personally.
At lunch, Vinnie told me she wished that I bought the same kind of cheese-Kraft singles-that her mom buys. Why this bothered me so much, I don't know.
Later, things didn't go my way and instead of having the kids sleep over we had to drop them back off at their mother's..so naturally I became a spoiled baby and said lovely things to my husband. Because it was his fault that their mother wants to spend time with her kids and she shouldn't get to? Huh??? What was I thinking???

Angry, hormone fueled, emotional, woman logic is awesome.

2 comments:

  1. Okay... i love these girls. and totally understand how you would. feel, must be very difficult.
    But. you are doing an amazing job!!
    hopefully with time things will get better (legally) and right now you're building a really strong bond with them to where maybe in the future they can even request to be full time at their parents. i really admire your relationship with the girls because sometimes parenting can be really stressful, and you carry most of the weight sometimes. their mom should be grateful to have you in the girls lives. for reals.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! That makes me feel a zillion times better about life. Like, I want to cross stitch your comment onto a pillow and sleep with it.

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