#StepMomLife: Shutting the Heck Up

Us step moms sure do like to chat it up about the ex wives:
________ is so...
I just can't believe she did...
It would be so much better if she would just...
WHY can't she......
Sometimes we have to vent, but most of the time, do we really need to vent that much? I have noticed that once I start dishing about the ex wife, I actually end up feeling worse than I did in the beginning. Like, with each bitchy statement my face teperature rises until I become Hulk Mom and am rage punching pillows. I am always careful and never talk about her in front of little ears, but that means the other pair of grown up ears in the house are always busy listening to me rant (which means the brain in the middle of those ears is thinking about the ex more than I want it to. No way!).
My new goal is to just not talk about her unless I absolutely have to. And if I have to, it is in the most positive light I can muster.
For example:
That is great ________ is so...
Wow, good for her for doing....
I'm glad she can at least.....
WHY can't she.... Sometimes we can't make everything positive.

Get it done!

Yay!

SMART things I did this week:
Purchased my own domain name: www.wrongwaypeachfuzz.com.
Went to the Social Security Office and changed my last name on my ss#
Made my student loan payment
Got a gym membership
Applied and was approved for a Kohl's card
Paid off the in store balance of Kohl's card right away

Doh!

DUMB things I did this week:
Forwarded my new domain back to the old one. Yep.
Left a load in the washing machine for more than "an hour or two'' (18 hours)
Left that same load in the machine again after having to rewash (12 hours this time)
Washed that same load for the third time, but left it in the dryer (still there)
Ate the last of the fruit snacks and lied to the kids about it (I don't know where they went..No, YOU ate them. I'm an adult.)
Farted on my husband

Everything is in perfect balance.

Fair Toilet Paper Act: Thoughts From The Big Chair

We go through an insane amount of toilet paper in my home. We all seem to have bladders the size of thimbles. I estimate that I spend about $30 a month on TP. That's $360 a year, professor. I don't buy the nice stuff, either. It seems to me, that we fuss about health care, prescriptions, insurance...so how about a Fair Toilet Paper Act? I mean, at the end of the day (or in the morning for some), everyone needs it.



Granted, we would have to regulate the sale of TP, number of squares per household, plys per person, etc. The misuse of America Wipes (we would most certainly brand and rename government issued TP) would be punishable by law. Toilet papering houses, wrap your partner in TP relays, excessive nose wiping-use a hanky, people- would carry a fine of no less than $300. Egg sales would increase, as teens would have to find Saturday night alternatives, and the black market for quilted, 3 ply products would flourish.
Perhaps, low income families would receive some sort debit card for toilet paper?
The TP tax would cause an outrage.
We'd see TP Party rallies pop up for sure: Leave my Plys alone! Don't Tax My Ass! Wipe Out Unfair Taxation!


But, I would not find myself stranded in the bathroom, as I was this morning, begging my children for assistance and having to look my 3 y/o in the eye as she literally bailed my ass out (with a McDonald's napkin, no less).
And that's the bottom line.

That One Time I Effectively Parented #RealMamaLife

I'm linking up with Le Petit Reve today to share my #RealMamaLife post. Most of my posts are pretty real, although occasionally I will crop out a pile of doodoo or run a comb through one of the kid's hair for every one's sake..Or use a real camera instead of my phone. Not today. That is what my #RealMamaLife link up is all about. Letting things be the way they are and capturing life, cameraphone pics and all.

Today is day 3 of battle royal between the 4 y/o and the 3 y/o. They have been on each other's nerves for 72 hours and counting. Which means my nerves were shot 48 hours ago.
At wit's end, I summoned all of my mom powers and decided to join the toddler forces of evil and create: Angry Dinner.

First, I gave each child a bowl of crackers and said: Crunch them up like you're mad. Beat up the crackers.

Then, I gave each child a wooden spoon and said: Do whatever you want with this. Wooden spoons are fun.

Next, I gave each child a hunk of ground beef, a cracked egg and said: Mush this together. Please don't lick your fingers, I don't need you to get food poisoning. (3 y/o didn't listen, stay tuned for possible follow up post).

Lastly, I put the crock pot in front of them and said: Make meatballs. Put them in here.

It worked! They forgot they were pissed at one another.
..And I didn' have to make dinner.

I WON.






 

Treat Yo' Self {to The Craft of Blogging}

Happy Mother's Day, friends! I am feeling especially loved today. My husband's gift to me was his wish for me to spend more time on myself, and most importantly, to spend time without the kids. That's a pretty novel concept, right? To be a better mother, I need a break away from the reason I am a mother.
Lately, my favorite way to clear my mind and release some of the pent up momstration, (frustration from being a mom--get it?) is to write. Just getting my thoughts on screen has an incredible calming effect, and to be honest, more than half of what I write doesn't make it to the blog. However, what does end up on the blog varies in quality, and for that I apologize. So, as a part of my mother's day blessing from my husband, I am going to invest in myself and attend The Craft of Blogging. Yes, it is a blogging workshop geared toward newer bloggers, like myself, who want to find a consistent, stronger writing voice.

via

...Also, this workshop is an afternoon away from my family where I will be surrounded by adults. Treat yo' self, Julie!
If I don't get anything out of my experience, other than a few conversations that aren't about unicorns, Justin Beiber or Justin Beiber riding unicorns, I really feel like the time and money invested in this will still be worth every minute and penny.
While this particular workshop is local to me, I really urge everyone to go out and find bloggers and workshops nearby. I went on Facebook and found a whole bunch of local ladies that blog, dish, and support one another. As cliched as it sounds, it has been incredible to feel like I am a part of something outside of my home, family and housework.
So go, search and find something that suits you and make a real investment in yourself.

This is not a sponsored post. I am just pumped to go!

10 Worst Mother's Day Gifts

Men, I am shaking my mom finger at you if any of these "gifts" are included in your Mother's Day repertoire.


*Any pots, pans, or cooking related "woman in the kitchen" things.
*A nap, to which Mom wakes up and the house is on fire. Because you also took a nap.

Courtesy ShitIRuined.com
 

*You fixed whatever shit you said you would fix 6 months ago.

*A brunch that includes standing in line for more than 20 minutes to be seated.

*A mess in the kitchen from the breakfast in bed you thoughtfully made.

*Beard trimmings in the bathroom sink because you shaved for Mother's Day.

*The enjoyment of sitting in the foyer during the Mother's Day service at church, because the family was late to church-because you took 40 minutes to shave.



courtesy hobbiesonabudget.com

*Flowers from a gas station.

*Jewelry that turns her skin green.

*Car stuff.

You're welcome, men. Now go forth and show your wives and mothers how much you adore them.
Happy Mother's Day!

(For some great gift ideas-click here!)

irocksowhat was on the same page as me today. Check out her list!

Domain Names and Stuff

Tell me:
Do I care about this? Should I care about this?
Does it kill you guys to type .blogspot.com right now? My blog is pretty tiny, but I do want to grow and take things a little more seriously (bahahahahaha..yeah right).
Also, let's take into consideration that I am kind of a cheapskate. Like, godaddy.com $9.99 for 2 years of domain hosting cheapskate. But.. Do I really want the boobie commercial people to host my website? I really might need the $5.00 a year I will save if I go with them (according to my husband, who is even cheaper than I am).
I have a couple of readers who know what they are doing, and I would appreciate the feedback/direction/love on this subject (because I think I am the one that is too lazy to type .blogspot.com at this point).

Bel Baller.

Thanks, duders!